I've moved to http://electric-gypsy.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, September 28, 2005
05:43 p.m.

Finally a brief respite from the prelims. My balls can breathe once again.

Gay pitas was preventing me from updating in the afternoon when the awning was being done up in my front yard. Maybe I should switch to blogspot? Should I? Hmm.

Picture someone spreading a message of thinking for yourself. This is from the website of a band called Tool, "so be careful when you choose to believe something you are being told. If anything, it is probably a good reminder that we should exercise our best judgment and not be sheep in the herd. (One of Tool's main messages seems to be that people need to think for themselves more.) After all, the falsehoods are usually well told, but do tend to seem a bit peculiarly off-the-wall. Best of luck." I find it quite ironic that people can proselytize about thinking for yourself. "Proselytize" and "thinking for yourself" simply don't go together. If you want someone to think for himself, why are you even telling him to do so? So if he listens to you, is he still thinking for himself?

Wednesday, August 31, 2005
12:41 a.m.

omfg...

fuck chelsea. 2 handballs in their own box tt went uncaught. and the goal they scored resulted from an offside position(this isn't an opinion). they have the money to buy good players and they have the money to buy the referee as well.

Monday, August 22, 2005
01:03 a.m.

School usually starts around seven
We get up around nine
Get on the bus at eleven
Sippin' a drink and feelin' fine

Saturday, August 20, 2005
06:00 p.m.

Yesterday nearly the entire prom gang went to celebrate ee pin's birthday. We went kayaking at east coast. Was as fun as mass outings get. Really did lots of shit. In sec 1 and 2 we still stuck to our little groups here and there but since sec 3 and especially this year we've been doing things in a bigger group more often. Really really fun.

Eepin took quite a lot of pics with his camera. Maybe I'll post them here. And he treated all of us at Han's. If not for the fact that he received $888 from his dad, I think most of us would have felt quite bad.

Omg my tagboard has become a rhymer's corner.

Some of the pics are here.
http://www.angelfire.com/droid/elros/eepins_birthday/

Monday, August 15, 2005
05:14 p.m.

Blew my com up

I haven't been coming online cos last week I blew my com up. I plugged it in and suddenly there was a damn loud sound and the CPU emitted a burnt smell. Damn gay. Just changed the power box today. But it's just as well actually cos I need to stay off the com to study.

Saturday, August 13, 2005
07:16 p.m.

Omfg

Moving house tmr. Things are so rushed. Got 2 tests tmr. Had physio today. Hopefully I don't screw the tests too hard. I'm half-prepared right now. 3 hours left to mug!

Tuesday, August 2, 2005
06:20 p.m.

Fresh meat

I just downloaded some new Incubus songs. They're in the midst of writing a new album =D. The lyrics contain the creativity and expressiveness that you can expect of Brandon Boyd.

I am one big walking chemical reaction
A buzzing hive of self-synapsis and nascent self-perception

Those 2 lines are so deep that I have difficulty grasping their meanings. Synapsis is defined as the side-by-side association of homologous paternal and maternal chromosomes during the first prophase of meiosis. The fact the song is a duet between Brandon and a female singer plus the inclusion of that line, as well as a line that goes "One and the same, two of a kind, yet neither of us can see" makes me think that the song is saying that we are unable to see and cope with our gender differences.

A weekend of shitty mugging. Yawnz.

Sunday, July 24, 2005
10:37 p.m.

When Incubus Attacks! Vol.2

I had an "incubus attack" for the 2nd time in my life last night. Bloody hell. It was scary. This time I heard a different kind of laughter, but it was still an evil laughter. I couldn't feel my limbs and I could feel a tangible pressure on my chest. I know there's probably a scientific explanation behind all this bullshit, because I only get it when I sleep late and I'm le tired and le stressed, but why the laughter? This time the laughter was very unworldly and weird. Maybe it was some other sound other than laughter. What if a spirit was really sitting on me, taking a spiritual shit or something? It took me quite a mental struggle to be able to move my body again, tho this time I found it easier than when I got it for the first time. Maybe next time when I get it, I'll just let my consciousness stay there and let my body remain in that state and see what happens. It might give me a better understanding of what separates mental consciousness from physical consciousness and the soul. And I wonder if my eyes were open thru out the whole thing. If they were open, I probably would have scared someone who was looking at me.

Whereupon the soul flew from the body

Wise men wonder while
Strong men die

Tuesday, July 19, 2005
11:10 p.m.

When Incubus Attacks! Vol.2

Whereupon the soul flew from the body

Wise men wonder while
Strong men die

Tuesday, July 19, 2005
11:10 p.m.

Baybeats

Baybeats was crazy. Crazier than last year cos this year we didn't mosh around. Moshing is damn fun. How do those poser punks in leather spiked jackets mosh anyway? They'll kill the ppl around them. There was a lot of body surfing but no stage diving. At the TJC gig the main man of the other band did a stage dive but no one dared to catch him so the poor guy fell into a hole in the crowd. We were playing American Idiot at that time and I started laughing my ass off. The all-girl band from Malaysia was one of the better bands in my opinion. Brandtson did a nice rock version of Cry Me a River. I wonder how much they were paid, considering they're all the way from the U.S.

We saw Electrico hanging around and the girls asked David for his autograph. Spoke a lil with him about music and some of his gigs. We wanted to take photos with Amanda but she walked away just as we approached. How sad. Her braids look really good. Must have taken her a couple of hours to prepare. Oh well, she looks really good.

Sunday, July 17, 2005
10:08 p.m.

TJC gig

I just came back from the TJC gig. It was damn fun, tho some stuff screwed up.

I went with an impression that the other band playing wouldn't be nice guys, cos I'd heard some bad stuff bout them, yet they turned out to be very supportive and warm. And the guitarists can play real fast as well, tho when it comes to tone and volume balance, they're quite bad.

Our playing was alright tonight. I couldn't get any feeling when playing Fall to Pieces tho. Gayness. And I felt drowned by the bass and vocals. Hope my parts didn't sound too bad. I played half of Electric Gypsy as well. Turned out ok. I decided to let Ruiyi have the Drive solo and the whole of Californication, otherwise he'd be real bored. In the future we'll be playing proper double guitar songs, so we won't have any of that anymore. Ppl think that he's playing the solos cos I don't move much and he moves a lot. What kind of gay reasoning is that? Anyway our amps were really inadequate. Tone sucked overall. The amps were way too small.

TJC seems to have a very strong school spirit. Or maybe it's just Temasek Academy that has strong spirit. And all of them can dance nicely! Wish I could learn one day. This gig has improved how I view TJ. But the organisation of the whole event was rather messy.

Next month we might have a gig at VJC. I'll be able to compare and contrast VJ and TJ. Hopefully we'll play nicely. Frankly speaking I think all of us played quite gayly today. Definitely not up to standard. But at least much of the crowd enjoyed themselves. (:

Friday, July 15, 2005
11:09 p.m.

I want to spit on your ways, to rise above them. But the tides pull me down and sweep me towards them. Do these currents lead me to where I should go? Or is my place further upstream?

This party is old and uninviting
Participants all in black and white
You enter in full blown technicolour
Nothing is the same after tonight.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005
12:24 a.m.

Freaky clouds

I'm witnessing something quite gay from my window right now. There's a huge dark cloud looming over my neighbourhood and right now it's drizzling slightly. But in the distance, over the sea, the clouds are white and glowing with sunlight. And my neighbourhood is by the sea. So the view I have right now is really guai lan. Oh it just started raining heavily. The dark cloud is really huge. Yet the weather in the distance is so sunny. Guai lan weather.

Sunday, July 10, 2005
04:42 p.m.

Down to my Last

Omg Down to my Last is a damn nice song. Who can sing like that? Who the hell can sing like that?!

Jamming was alright today. We're gonna nail Fall to Pieces by Velvet Revolver, and we shall play it next friday and for teacher's day.

Sunday, July 10, 2005
01:08 a.m.

Initial D. It's overrated and didn't quite turn out to be what I expected it to be. The racing scenes were gripping but it's quite cliched and the whole movie is obviously targetted at girls. What with repeatedly freezing the frames when it comes to the guys' faces during the movie. Terrible ending as well! Even more abrupt than War of the Worlds. So unconclusive. If there's gonna be a sequel then it makes a lil sense but if it's a stand alone movie, it really needs a better ending.

I don't think we got into the second round of school of rock, but that's ok. We have a gig at TJC next Friday, for some event that lasts from 6 - 9. I heard from some ppl that the event is quite insignificant. Hopefully it won't be that bad.

Prelims looming ahead!

Friday, July 8, 2005
05:57 p.m.

E-bay

Is anyone here experienced in the use of ebay? I need some info about how it works and how to avoid scam.

Tuesday, July 5, 2005
04:42 p.m.

Equipment!

Went to swee lee in the morning to buy equipment at the sale with some other ppl. Darryl and Clara (cherie's sister) were there too. The queue was so damn long. At least I got to buy what I wanted to buy. Now I feel so well equipped! I feel the joy of being well equipped. And the items I bought have high resale value. So hopefully I can make some money. Gongkia finally has some tone, after buying the necessary pedals. I got myself a pretty advanced delay pedal (boss dd6), a 7-band equaliser, a distortion/overdrive pedal, and a CRYBABY 535Q. That really takes the cake!

Saturday, July 2, 2005
11:43 p.m.

Black hole sun

I think we didn't get into the next round of school of rock. But they said the results will be released next week, so we shall just wait.

Black hole sun by Soundgarden. Another song about drug addiction. The vocalist of Audioslave was from Soundgarden which is now defunct.

Relative velocity rapes la. Without someone clever to help you along/a good teacher, I'll be totally lost. Speaking of lost, I shall have to catch it later at 10.

Stuttering, cold and damp
Steal the warm wind, tired friend
Times are gone for honest men
And sometimes far too long for snakes
In my shoes, a walking sleep
And my youth I pray to keep
Heaven send Hell away
No one sings like you anymore

Hang my head, drown my fear
Till you all just disappear

Thursday, June 30, 2005
09:22 p.m.

My secret arsenal is an infinite ageless inkwell It's a fountain of youth and a patriot's weapon of choice

The band is writing a song now, and I've already written a verse and chorus riff, and I'll be using one of my poems as lyrics, which somewhat means that the song is half done already. Hopefully we get into the next round of school of rock and our song will be ready. I hope the judges can appreciate lit along with music. And what can we do to our "look" to make it better in the eyes of the judges? We were thinking of wearing expensive shirts along with boxers and dunman high socks. The glaring disparity will be a strong image for the band. The red hot chili peppers wore socks over their dicks for their performances and it really helped them gain the media's favour.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005
11:37 p.m.

School of Rock

The school of rock audition today was fine...the judges gave good comments, mostly. My tone screwed up though, cos I borrowed a friend's Korg ax1500g multi-efx board to enhance my solo and outro tone. It turned out to be a really bad move. It totally screwed my tone and I couldn't achieve the dry, crisp distortion that I'm supposed to have and ended up having some muddy, overdriven tone tt sounded totally gay for the song. At least nothing screwed up for my solo, but during the outro when I stepped on the chorus pedal, bloody hell, the volume got totally cut off, apparently because I didn't adjust and save the volume settings beforehand. (it's one complicated board) At least the judges didn't seem to notice, and told us to stop, and gave us their comments. They told us that we had to improve on the look of our band. I think lard and james were a little too casually dressed. One of the judges also told me that I had to improve my tone. I'm forced to agree because that pedal really screwed me up.

When we got outside, some guy working for the newpaper approached us and asked us some questions about the band and why we chose to play a song from a local band. (we played Studman by Electrico) Then I left him my number and he said he'd call back if he was interested in doing some sort of profile on us. Wow tt's quite cool. Profile on Lucid Vapour.

Anyway, being the band leader wasn't as troublesome as I thought it'd be, tho I did get a call from their personnel during curriculum time. On the whole I think we stand a slim chance of getting into the next round. Hopefully a majority of the other bands aren't too good, and hopefully we make the mark. And if we don't, we can just study more for O lvls.

Monday, June 27, 2005
07:46 p.m.

Biker Gang

I went for a biking trip last night with shang, pin and aloy. Due to lack of bike, I had to take a taxi to Bedok Resovoir to meet them and to get a bike (fuck it). Kept looking at the fare metre cos I had nearly no damn money. In the end eepin helped me to pay first.

For most of the trip I used Weijean's bike, which was with shang yuun. Shit, I think the wheels and the gear are a bit cocked up already. Anyway, we cycled to Hougang to fetch Siangyee but in the end he told us we could only cycle around the area, which is really gay. So we got a fish from him and cycled down to bedok jetty to fish, cos Aloy brought rods. Night fishing, or rather, early morning fishing, is fun. Just sit there and chill and feel good. The sunrise was blocked by a huge cloud, a real pity. Bedok jetty brings back some memories for me.

We caughty only one fish in the end, and it was one weird ass fish which kept puffing its abdomen out. In the end we put it back into the sea. Most of the other fishers around didn't seem to catch much as well.

In the morning, I cycled my ass home and my parents were surprised to see me with a bike. I wonder how I'm gonna return it to Weijean.

Check out the topics started by "i am twat". He's damn gay. Funny in a clowny and perverted way. You probably can't imagine how anyone can be so screwed up and lecherous. His "weekly reports" are really full of shit.

http://sgforums.com/?action=search&search_str=i+am+twat

Friday, June 24, 2005
02:35 p.m.

Looking in my rearview mirror

I just learnt how to cycle! Haha. The prom gang is going for a cycling expedition tonight, and Aloy dropped by my house with Hanloong's house. I told him I wanted to learn, so we brought the bike to the carpark and I spent the next 45 mins or so learning. Then I wanted to buy a bike at the bike shop so that I could join them, but it was closed, which might be a good thing for me cos I'm still not very steady. Oh well. Learning how to cycle at 16. Hahaha. Couple of ppl I know had sex before they were 16.

Speaking of sex... Bernice just showed me a link that leads to a forum in which a guy pasted his online convos, in which he pretends to want to have cybersex with the ppl online, and they agree, but he ends up spoiling their experiences by being a damn funny asshole . It's damn funny!

http://www.anothersite.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=4308

Btw, my friend told me that the other parts of the site are sick, so, surf with caution! I didn't dare look at the other crap. Just laugh and leave. Lols

Monday, June 20, 2005
10:19 p.m.

Rockon Spore

I attended the Rockon S'pore concert yesterday. Went only to watch Electrico and Ronin. Electrico had a good show as usual. After hearing Daniel's live tone again, I realise that the strat still rapes! Lace sensors sound good. He was too soft tho, but his tone rapes. And his stage antics are funny. Too bad I was so far away from Amanda Ling... damnation. The other time at the Esplanade she was barely a few metres in front of me.

Ronin's show was crazy. We got moshed around by some gay punks in the crowd. The feeling of getting moshed is like dancing with 100 tanxins, or someone similarly rough. Then, Ronin took out underwear, mainly panties and g strings and thongs, and threw them into the crowd (after wiping their sweat with them), calling them "presents". Haha it was totally gay. Imagine if one of the pieces of underwear lands on ur face. On the whole it was a great show. Too bad I didn't catch any of the ray-bans that the emcee was tossing out. Sunglasses are necessary act-cool gear, as Ronin aptly showed.

Later on we walked around Orchard and we heard a damn pro trio playing at Indochine. (or is it an adjoining bar? hmm) Fuck, the singer's voice is damn good. Wish I could sing like that. Playing at Indochine seems cool. I wonder if they pay well.

Sunday, June 19, 2005
02:52 p.m.

Quite a number of things happened this week, but I'm too lazy to blog about all of it. Siang Yee's birthday party and class bbq were the main events. Had lots of fun. Couldn't send tanxin off today cos I woke up at 2 a.m.

Electric Gypsy by Andy Timmons is a beautiful song. The utter lack of lyrics leaves the interpretation of the song in the title and the instrumentals. My guess is that it's supposed to be a love song.

Time really flies; hols are gonna end in a week or so. I still have a lot left to do.

I find myself wanting my iPod again, suddenly. Seems like I'm not gonna get a new phone till next year. And I still haven't moved into my new house! Bloody hell.

Thursday, June 16, 2005
12:07 a.m.

Temples Lit by Video

In temples lit by video
We hear, we watch, we obey
Static buzz, ecstatic drone
We worship, we exalt, we pray

Drowning in the tintinnabulation
Inundated by half-truths and half-lies
All my life I've worshipped in the temple
But now I'm beginning to realise

I can't hear my own voice
As I wander these temple halls
I'm losing my power of choice
Whilst obeying its videos' calls

Dare I renounce the faith
And be cast out as a heretic?
Will I leave the flock behind
And roam the wild like a maverick?

For these temples are lit by video
It's all its worshippers can see
It's all they can ever hear or perceive
It's all they can ever be

I just very suddenly felt like writing this poem. I think it's quite easy to see its meaning. One fine day, I need to write some riffs for it and perhaps, think of a vocal tune for it. Or maybe Lard should be in charge of that, since I can't sing well =(

I think some ppl who interpret my poem in certain ways will find it offensive. Here's sorry in advance.

Friday, June 10, 2005
02:49 a.m.

Check this guy out.

http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=18994954

All I can say is, my brows were furrowed when I finished reading the profile.

Alas, I heard it's a fake, probably created by someone who wants to niao him. If it isn't fake, hmm. Got nothing to say.

Wednesday, June 8, 2005
12:09 a.m.

Raping bands

I just got back from Orchard. Went to watch the street fest band comp with gongkia. Most of the bands really raped. They're much much better than us in every aspect. Only one band was around our lvl. The other 7 or so were damn pro. The guitarist from the first band was using the exact same guitar that I'm using (even the colour), and he was quite pro and had rather good tone, which causes me to wonder why he wasn't using a proer guitar. Maybe my guitar is not that bad after all.

Tuesday, June 7, 2005
10:45 p.m.

Why on earth is "class monitor" a "leadership position" (so says my DSA form)? What the hell does a "class monitor" lead anyway? What the hell does a class monitor do? (Other than shout class stand class bow like a robot) DSA is so troublesome. I wonder what my chances of getting thru are.

Sunday, June 5, 2005
06:44 p.m.

I haven't been going out much, which is utterly bad. Staying at home to do work in short bursts = yawnz. On the bright side, I'm 70 kg again! I shall bring it up to 75 kg in time to come. A fatless 75 kg that is.

I'm afraid of failure. Maybe one day I'll have the courage to do it. One day when my cup brims with favour.

Well you're never gonna find it
If you're looking for it
Won't come your way
Well you'll never find it
If you're looking for it

Should've done something but I've done it enough
By the way your hands were shaking
Rather waste some time with you

Blue and Yellow by the Used. Nice but sad song.

Baybeats next month. Some gigs to watch on 17th and 18th. That means I probably won't go for band concert, unless someone sways me hard enough. I doubt I can get tickets now anyway.

I'm beginning to like Dave Navarro's guitarring style.

You've got the most
Ahh, but nobody loves you!
Nobody has to!

Just because

Wise lyrics! I often have an entitlement-mentality which I should get rid of. Come to think about it, most of us do. Over time, you'll feel entitled to your room, your house, your allowance, your food, your handphone, your computer, your friends, the good times you have, and its all "just because", and not because you've done anything to deserve it. Just because the people around you have more, doesn't mean you're entitled to more as well.

Friday, June 3, 2005
09:51 p.m.

Went to the airport with the guys just now. Sent the Germany Trip ppl off. Damn... I should have gone for it...ZzZZzzZzZ. I chose not to go for a bunch of reasons, and one of them is pretty damn stupid.

Hmmz. Something caught my eye today.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005
01:27 a.m.

Yum

I just came back from the wedding dinner. It wasn't as boring as I thought it'd be. I met a bunch of girls who are the grandchildren of my nanny. I only have vague recollections of a bunch of girls who kept coming to the house, so I felt really gay at first when I sat at the table with them. My memories of them are so vague and meeting them was like connecting with my past. Anyway, they were moderately interesting people. One of the girls happens to be Clara's (Cherie's sister, not the short black one)classmate. And her sister, a sec 1 Dunmanian from EDS was there too. How coincidental. Mak, a guy from Gongkia and Lard's tuition, was there as well. The restaurant was quite posh and the food was not bad but it wasn't very filling. The bridegroom (he was adopted by my nanny) looks quite different from what I remember from my years of littleness. Either my memory really sucks when it comes to this circle of people or he really changed a lot. The bridegroom and bride were volleyballers in VJC and they've known each other for 16 years. Hopefully their relationship remains sweet. And my nanny's grandson looks quite different too, tho I could somewhat recognise him. He'll be the next guy to get married, so I guess I'll be eating dinner with them again in the future. All these wedding dinners! The abundance of wedding dinners I'm feeling.

Sunday, May 29, 2005
12:17 a.m.

Zzz

Yesterday was such a boring day. No chilling at all. On the way to the bus stop, we found a few packets of condoms on the ground. Some loser must have lost his condoms in the grass. Anyway, one of the guys opened up a packet and examined the condom. It was red and when I touched it, it felt sticky. Must be lubricant. Then we opened another one, and this time it was orange. I proceeded to unroll it and passed it to Aloy, who promptly blew it up like a balloon. Hahahaha tt's ultimate gayness, blowing a condom up. Later when he got on the bus, some Malay girl started niaoing him, calling him pathetic and a sissy and some other insults for blowing up a condom. Talk about touchy!

I gotta run for a wedding dinner soon. 2 wedding dinners in 7 days. Plus another one is coming up in the near future. Quite sadly, I can't attend these dinners with close friends, unlike in Mr Siva's wedding dinner last year in which most of the regular trackers attended.

Should I go for band concert? Hmm.

I just finished reading Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedis, the frontman of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. RHCP is the first band to get me hooked on rock and their music made me wanna take up guitar. Anyway, Kiedis has led a damn interesting life. He's always doing wild stuff, all kinds of drugs, screwing a lot of girls in random locations and getting into interesting situations. Not that taking drugs and screwing girls excessively is good, but it certainly spiced his life up. His work involves sitting down in a studio and writing lyrics and jamming with the other members of the band, and touring the world, and they are made multi-millionaires out of the popularity of their music. He had adventures in Borneo, the Himalayas, the Arctic circle and Alaska. Tt simply rapes ass. As a youth, he made it to UCLA and from the way he writes, you can tell that he's educated. To be educated and to lead such a crazy life is such a slap in the face to those who worshipfully and anally subscribe to the straight and narrow path. Quite sadly for him, his life was plagued with drug addiction and he might go into another relapse in the future, tho at the end of the book, he wrote that he'd stayed clean. Hopefully, he stays clean and the RHCP release another nice album soon. Same goes for Incubus. I'm also awaiting the next Incubus album, which I assume based on their track record, will at the very least be a minor departure from their previous album in terms of style and lyrical content.

Saturday, May 28, 2005
07:04 p.m.

OMG WHAT A SONG!

Warrant - Cherry Pie

Chorus:
She's my cherry pie,
Cool drink of water, such a sweet surprise.
Tastes so good, make a grown man cry,
Sweet cherry pie.

(Manly, rockstar scream comes in here)
Swingin' on the front porch,
Swingin' on the lawn.
Swingin' where we want,
Cause there ain't nobody home.
Swingin' to the left,
And swingin' to the right.
If I think about baseball,
I'll swing all night, yeah.

Swingin' in the living room,
Swingin' in the kitchen.
Most folks don't cause,
They're too busy bitchin'.
Swingin' in there cause,
She wanted me to feed her.
So I mixed up the batter,
And she licked the beater.

Prechorus:
I scream, you scream,
We all scream for her.
Don't even try cause,
You can't ignore her.
Chorus
Chorus 2:
She's my cherry pie,
Put a smile on your face ten miles wide.
Looks so good, bring a tear to your eye,
Sweet cherry pie.

Swingin' to the drums,
Swingin' to guitar.
Swingin' to the bass,
In the back of my car.
Ain't got money,
Ain't got no gas.
But we'll get where we're goin' if we,
Swing real fast.

Prechorus.
Chorus 1 and 2
(Kickass solo comes in!)

Swing it! All night long�
Swing it!
Swingin' in the bathroom,
Swingin' on the floor.
Swingin' so hard,
We forgot to lock the door.
In walks her daddy,
Standin' six foot four.
He said, You ain't gonna swing with my daughter no more!
Chorus 1 and 2
Sweet cherry pie�
Swing it!

This song kicks ass! I was talking to an American friend of mine and we were talking about music and guitars and he told me about this song. When I heard the title, I was like, "Wtf?? what a nice title! I must check it out." The lyrics in this song are damned funny, and the way its sung and screamed is rather funny to me as well. Hahahaha. I wanna jam this song. Oh man. And the solo should be fun too. And for once the rest of the band can sing along. Or rather, scream along.

Interclass matches were good! Quite entertaining.

SWINGIN IN THE BATHROOM, SWINGIN ON THE FLOOR. SHEZ MAH CHERAY PAHHH. TASTES SO GOOD, MAKE A GROWN MAN CRY.

I've been learning sweet child o mine by GnR. I hope we can jam it sometime soon. Maybe we'll join School of Rock for fun and see how far we can go. Just go there and have fun and meet cool ppl and screw off, like what we did with our previous audition. As long as its fun.

I'm feeling magical now a days.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005
08:24 p.m.

I just attended my cousin's wedding dinner. It was held at The Executive's Club at OCBC Bank. What an executive's club. My aunt is a HOD at the Ministry of Manpower and she must have had some connections to use such a place. It doesn't look as grand as the Swissotel room that Mr Siva's wedding dinner was held at though. The bride and bridegroom are rather young, both at 24 only. Such a young age to marry! They were married in the U.S. and they're gonna live and work there. Ahh, anyway the dinner was really good and filling. I ate 2 people's shares because someone at our table didn't come. I'm such a piggg.

Saturday, May 21, 2005
10:44 p.m.

Check out a video of us playing American Idiot. It's slightly stupid, because it's tilted 90 degrees to the left and during my solo the camera is focused on gongkia, but who gives.

http://s9.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1QJ486Y8JAYCA1SIE651S3IGJY

Saturday, May 21, 2005
11:53 a.m.

FUNfair

I'm so glad the gig turned out well. To those of you who were there, thanks for the support!

Tan Tui Gee was being a very helpful guy. Except that he got in the way of my pedal once and I had to maneuvre a bit. I like the way the dollar bills were floating down to the ground. Hahahah it's a novel way of giving your donation. 4K and 4F supported the band and the bunch of guys came to support us too, not to mention lots of other ppl like the vballers, gep ppl and everyone else. Daniel must have felt good, having our opening song dedicated to him. Daniel is a studman leh. Hahahah. On the whole we didn't make any crippling mistakes, tho we did make a few playing errors I believe. Ahh well. I hope we sounded good. And I hope we raised a nice amount of money. I didn't get to count. But anyway, thanks for the support. Lots and lots of thanks. With you guys, we could prove Mrs Shu wrong. That gay thought that we'd have not much of an audience.

Interclass is exciting! It's nice to watch the other classes play, cos they all have some standard in bball, unlike my class.I think 4A vs 4E will be nice to watch. 4K vs 4B will look good as well. Daniel vs Nehji. Gongkia vs.... Jianmin. Aloy vs Jiachi. Scratch that: Aloy vs all of 4E. Lols.

Thursday, May 19, 2005
08:38 p.m.

Talk about red rape, oops, I mean, red tape

The band's ass got royally savaged today. Never have I suffered the effects of red tape, protocol, and bungling teachers to such a great extent.

Our plan was to prepare for tomorrow's funfair show after school today in the gep room. However, a very clever teacher took the key and disappeared, and our equipment was locked up. We, (a) couldn't prepare for tomorrow's show together and (b) couldn't even get our equipment so that we could, at the very least, bring them home to practice alone. Talk about bungling teachers! LOL+RAGE@teachers.com because the teachers decided not to trust us with the key, because they felt that we "should not be responsible should there be any damages to the stuff inside". By "stuff", they're referring to a state-of-the-art hifi and TV set, which, very surprisingly, probably fails to amount to even half the worth of our equipment, which amounts to 4K. And in the end, the teacher did a good job by disappearing with the key and screwing us this way.

All was not lost tho. The General Office had a master key and they were willing to lend it to us if we could bring a gep teacher along. This is where we got raped without lubrication. We approached (a) Mrs Shu, (b) Ms Koh (c) Ms Chia. (a) told us to go home and said that our performance would have a small audience and implied that it was something very unimportant, something not worth her effort in helping us to obtain the key. (b) was busy with CDS and it's quite understandable, except that making a trip to the GO from the auditorium would cost her 45 seconds and making a call would cost her 10, but quite sadly, she could afford to lose neither. (c) happened to piss me off in class by making comments about something that i suggested being "crap" and by implying that i was challenging her when i was not and generally by being quite a petulant little girl and had an urgent meeting to attend to that could not warrant a short trip to the office. Helpful teachers of dunman high. School spirit indeed. Someone blow me.

But, enough of my rant. Tomorrow we'll be playing at 1.45 at the foyer and I hope we won't disappoint those of you who'll be there. I just wanna have a good time, despite all these setbacks. Please donate as well! Hahah. It'll be for the Alzheimer's Disease Association.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005
08:49 p.m.

The King's Seat

Today was a whopping-ass fun day. It'd have been more fun if I won Eepin in punch and if it didn't rain at night, but anyway...

Gongkia came over and we met the guys at Hotshots to play pool. I couldn't beat Eepin in 7 racks, so in the end we shared the table cost. Then we went to eat, buy flowers, and drag our asses to school.

EDS Night was highly enjoyable! At first, us guys sat somewhere at the back. Coincidentally, my "thrower", Cherie was behind me. Anyway we decided to move in front and the row we sat at was damn good. It was the front row and I was right smack in the centre! My seat forms a right angle with the centre of the stage. I felt like a total king when the sec 2 girls started dancing barely a few metres away from me on the stage. Esp this one girl who really caught my eye but nevermind. Never noticed her before in school, hmm maybe she's sec 1 or maybe it's the makeup. The other guys must have felt the heat too. Such luck we enjoyed.

Although some of the plays were a little lame and shallow, they were all funny in some way. Mr Ken's stand-up comedy was damn funny. Laughed my ass off. He didn't even laugh at himself! Such self-control. The only play which wasn't funny was the one entitled "Cave". Thought-provoking rip-off of Plato's well-known allegory. On the whole, the performances were very entertaining. Props to our school's eds!

During the interval I went to meet the "mudders". Hahaha such "mudders". Allison was very nicely dressed! Took some pictures with her. Too bad ppl couldnt' see our intention to dress oppositely. Hahaha. Actually come to think about it, only our tops were opposite. I hope the pictures turn out good. Her 6 megapixel camera had better not show how bad my complexion is! Hahah.

After the performance, the prom gang was supposed to go to east coast to play with sparklers. We bought so many sparklers but the rain screwed us over! In the end we went to parkway to eat at macs and play some pool and arcade.

Such a fun day of chilling. Hot dancer, I wanna know you!

Chilling is good. Next week is a big week. A gig week. I hope all goes well!

Sunday, May 15, 2005
01:03 a.m.

Good Time

Good Time by Electrico is damn nice! Particularly the solo. I just spent an hour to figure out how to play the solo by ear. Doing it was tedious but enjoyable and it's probably inaccurate but who cares right now. No electrico tabs online at all. Such an under-rated band. The solo makes me feel good! It gives me a good time. Haha.

This is damn amusing! I'm gonna wear matching underwear with someone tmr. Hahah wtfffff. Actually it ain't matching, it's opposing, but in that sense its matching. Hmm I'm being gay.

Tmr is a day of intense chilling. I'll probably be home around 12 a.m. Or maybe I'll stay over at someone's house. It'll be like all the times I spent last year chilling till wee hours. Hopefully it'll be a fun day. Hopefully I'll win my punch games so that my wallet will be healthy for future chilling and so that I can pay my debts.

FUCK! My A-math CA is damn lousy. All because of that 2nd damn test. That test dragged me down 4 grades. FOUR DAMN GRADES. I wanna retake.

I'm Mr Brightside.

Friday, May 13, 2005
10:20 p.m.

The feeling isn't right anymore
(I no longer love you)
I've already decided...
(I'm leaving you and it doesn't matter what you feel or if you don't want me to.)
Excerpts from a sad song. The normal lines are what I heard and the italics are what some other part of me heard.

Btw, I didn't get sub-9 for my 2.4km run. Just found out today that I ran 9.06. If I previously told you that I ran below 9 it was an honest mistake, sorry. Tuigee bluffed Daniel and I hard. Daniel ran 9.01. Failed to hit sub-9 by 2 seconds.. tough luck Dan. Haha.

So cold and firm in ending something that, in the past, you said you wanted, even though I questioned your readiness. I overestimated my worth to you.

I've done what I could. Just my bad luck. Good game.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005
07:19 p.m.

Such a dialogue session. In the end it didn't really end up anywhere, did it? No suggestions or constructive ideas.. just a couple of sweeping moral statements and a rousing speech from Ngee "Dreamer" Yong. I didn't know that our principal stays in a room with his family in his parents' flat though. Sacrificing luxury to such an extent to stay close to his parents is admirable. 4 ppl stuffed into one tiny room. My room feels adequate for myself but I can't imagine 3 other ppl living in it with me. Props to Mr Sng. The contrast between Mr Sng and the woman that Mr Loh mentioned is amusing. Basically, Mr Loh told us about this lady who was engaged, but in the end she broke up with her fiancee because he could only afford a flat and not a condominium. Firstly, breaking up just like that shows that the lady probably never gave a shit about the guy. Secondly, we can see how materialistic she is. Tsk.

I hope we don't screw up next week! I wanna play some good music for the school.

Save me from this prison
Lord help me get away
Cause' only you can save me now
From this misery

Nice song.

Monday, May 9, 2005
06:56 p.m.

Incubus - Leech
Does it make you envy?
Does it make you proud?
To talk the world into a paper bag?
Spotty stain of I'm ok you're not ok,
Yes men too can be on the rag.

"Im over my head I need a pick me up",
It's easy to get high when you're standing on our backs man,
Will anything ever be good enough for you?
Stand on your own hold your water if you can!

Chorus:
The ride's over, did you enjoy yourself?!
the ride's over, fairing well?
The ride's over, did you enjoy yourself?!
the ride's over, fairing well?
not in my time.

It isnt fair to mention but it awes the crowd
your fictional plastic alibis
so take another hit,
steal another life
D'ya ever meet a leech who was good at goodbyes?

When you were down
I always picked you up
Why didn't I recognise that everything was never fine?
I'm kicking myself that I shared spit with you!
So fuck yourself and fuck this bleeding heart of mine
Chorus
Damn good song! The prechorus vocals sound so strong somehow. The instrumentals are weird and most ppl won't like it but who gives.

Always stick with the good feeling.

Friday, May 6, 2005
06:02 p.m.

Jamming was pretty good yesterday. 3 hours of beating our ears and instruments up. We had a some supporters, which was really nice. Lard's girl came to watch us as usual. She's a faithful fan (of Lard's). Hahaha. Ms Chia came to audition us and she said we were "pretty good" tho I have a feeling she made that remark out of sympathy. Not that I think we're bad but we certainly aren't good. Such sympathy points indeed. I hope no one screws our attempts to have a gig in school on the 19th, for the GEP funfair. And I hope we don't screw up too. I'm gonna be playing quite a number of solos! Hope I don't screw up. If any of you have specific song requests please just tell me and we shall see if we can shove it into our list.

Singapore's weather is just too shitty to be true. Why can't Singapore start floating northwards towards China or something. Really too damn hot and humid.

Sunday, May 1, 2005
12:50 p.m.

Brian McFadden ft. Delta Goodrem
Brian:
Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Brian:
I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Brian & Delta:
Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, now it hurts
Brian:
Oh, haven't I always loved you?
Delta:
But when I need you
You're almost here
Brian:
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
Delta:
And when I hold you
You're almost here
Brian:
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

Brian & Delta:
And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Brian:
Cause I know I'm almost here

Brian & Delta:
Only almost here

Friday, April 29, 2005
09:53 p.m.

You love me but you don't know who I am

Wednesday, April 20, 2005
11:05 p.m.

Hmm

I decided to look at my older entries, from last year. I realise tt I sound super shallow/stupid/full of shit in some of the entries! Can't stand it at all. Why did I sound so much like a n00b in the past? Or at least, reading my entries, I'd think I was a n00b. A really stupid whorebag. Maybe next year I'll read the entries that I've written and will be writing this year and I'll realise how much of a gay I sounded like. For e.g., in a particular entry, I said that the Extremist was the next song I would tackle. Guess what? Till today I can't play it and I probably won't be able to do so in a long long time because it's really hard. I can be soooo fulla shit sometimes. Muahaha

I realise my memories of last year are still rather vivid! Lots of stuff happened last year... lots and lots of stuff. In fact 2004 was one of the most eventful years in my life I believe. Kaleidoscope, EDS Night, SAAA, Nationals, Tioman, OBS, chalets, gigs, baybeats, big quarrels, run from home, blah blah blah. Wow. Somehow a good deal more interesting than my sec 2 year. Then again, maybe I don't rmb much from sec 2. I hope this year will be fun. I don't wanna have a boring June holiday, tho I'll certainly force myself to mug.

Sunday, April 17, 2005
10:01 p.m.

Hoobastank - Crawling in the Dark
I will dedicate
And sacrifice my everything for just a second's worth
Of how my story's ending
And I wish I could know if the directions that I take
And all the choices that I make won't end up all for nothing
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Help me carry on
Assure me it's ok to use my heart and not my eyes
To navigate the darkness
Will the ending be ever coming suddenly?
Will I ever get to see the ending to my story?
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
So when and how will I know?
How much further do I have to go?
How much longer until I finally know?
Because I'm looking and I just can't see what's in front of me
In front of me
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer

This song is so nice... but my band's attempts to play it are totally screwed up. And songs are so much nicer when the lyrics mean something to you.

Wah! Mr Raja tried to ridicule me. I hope he forgets about the incident. I've got a very special "sister" in Dunman High now.. muahah. He'll probably find out the truth one day and I shall have to use all my wit to save myself again.

In times of great boredom, you do gay quizzes.

hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Saturday, April 16, 2005
10:00 a.m.

WTF!?

Look at this!

Popular searches in my network

1. zodiac love match
2. free mp3 songs
3. how to get rid of pimples naturally
4. free personality test
5. MAZDA RX-9
6. Does She Like You?
7. shang yunn
8. free japan av movie
9. prom gowns
10. body language flirting

HAHAHAHAHAHA. NEHJI HAS MORE POPULARITY THAN FREE JAPANESE PORN AND BODY LANGUAGE FLIRTING. WTF! hahahahaha look at search no.7! Shang Yuun! Yeah! That's nehji! What the hell who's been searching for him on friendster! Wait wait, who the hell even uses friendster to search?! Hahahahaha this is hilarious.

I sniffed some flirtatiousness! So I decided to punk darling earlier tonight. It was a prank at her expense.. but I guess the intention wasn't mainly to have fun. What can I say? What a weird thing to be doing in a relationship. But I trust her la.

Anyway, I can't stand the Nehji search! Must be a prankster spamming the engine with shang yuun.

I really really need to see a doctor about my injuries. I think I shall do so tmr.

Monday, April 11, 2005
10:48 p.m.

House of Lame Fury

I went to watch House of Fury last night with the prom gangsters. Wah! Your first impression of the movie will probably be grossly incorrect. Most ppl will think that it's a dead serious movie full of fighting. And yeah, it is full of fighting, but it's super full of shit and lameness as well! It's so lame that it becomes damn funny. I thought Daniel Wu would play a cool character but in the end he isn't a major character and he's one of the weakest fighters in the movie. The way the flair was put across was so gay. You totally won't expect it. Hahahah sucha gay movie. The fighting scenes are quite nice to watch. But the plot is empty and dumb.

My ass has been slapped thrice in two days. It's low in hp! My back just regained some hp tho. Tiger balm plaster is good.

Sunday, April 10, 2005
01:51 p.m.

The Corrs - What Can I Do
I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

Chorus:
What can I do to make you love me?
What can I do to make you care?
What can I say to make you feel this?
What can I do to get you there?

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better, yeah
If I don't try and I don't hope

What can I do to make you love me?
What can I do to make you care?
What can I say to make you feel this?
What can I do to get you there?

No more waiting, no more aching
No more fighting, no more trying

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna to let it fly

What can I do to make you love me?
What can I do to make you care?
What can I say to make you feel this?
What can I do to get you there?
And love me

Whee I love this song! It saved me just now. Hahaha. It brightens a sad situation with a rather jolly tune! Hahah so gladdening. It makes me realise that I'm also somewhat changing the way I view something. I realise that I should feel like what's described in the last verse. I can't do anything, and I've done my fair share of complaining. I've been putting pretty much all I can put into this, and maybe I've been putting too much in. Now all I can do is wait for reciprocation to happen. But have I not been waiting all along? Nvm I shall have to be patient. But from time to time I become impatient and frustrated, but songs like these can be so cheering =) But, hmm, the frustration can be so real sometimes.

Oh, I forgot to mention, the unplugged version of the song is so much nicer than the studio version. And Andrea Corr's voice exudes hotness.

I realise that I'm sorting my thoughts out by talking to myself on my blog. I hope I don't go crazy and start talking to myself all the time next time when I grow old.

What can I do to make you love me?
What can I do to make you care?
What can I say to make you feel this?
What can I do to get you there?

Saturday, April 9, 2005
12:00 a.m.

Wah lao my shoulder and back are screwed now. And my shoulder isn't healing. Maybe I should totally refrain from playing ballz till my shoulder heals. Same for my back.

Today, after bio, on my way up to class, someone very naughty pulled a run-and-hit-and-run ass slap on me. What a total surprise attack.

Meh... my shoulder............

My back............

Just now at the canteen I was worrying hard cos I forgot a certain number. Worry makes your memory even lousier and in the end I couldn't recall it! Haha but now I seem to be able to. Failing memory of mine.

Friday, April 8, 2005
09:28 p.m.

Lose your inhibitions in the rain!

Today was an immensely fun day! Haha total fun. Its so rare for us sec 4s to have this much fun in one afternoon. Basically we played soccer in the rain and it turned out to be full of flair. We were sliding around barefooted and because of the wetness of the pitch, lots of gay stuff happened. The way we did our slides were just damn comical. Gradually the rain became heavier and there were really nice puddles of water around. Playing in heavy rain feels damn good! After awhile, we decided to chiong towards a large puddle of water at the end of the field and slide into it together. By then we were already grassy and wet so we didn't really care. Running towards a puddle of water, screaming like a bunch of fags and chionging into it, we must have looked really gay! I think James used Daniel's phone to record down the entire thing on video. Haha later some of the guys dumped me into the sink beside the watercooler cos I was super grassy and I wanted to be washed. Wah those gays started soaping me up...hahaha thankfully there's a crude imitation of a shower cubicle in the boy's toilet, so we could all clean up. When I was in the cubicle, Nehji suddenly entered and we showered together gayly for awhile. But we had our pants on and it was in the name of flair so it wasn't that gay. I can't imagine how much more flairy it all would have been if the likes of Aloy and Jianmin were there! Muahah anyway I didn't have any extra shirt so I was freezing away in the wet and grassy pe shirt. I think Ophilia got dumped into the rain by some of the trackers and I think Wanting got kai-ed! Or at least, she suffered Mr Sng's wussy version of kaiing, which is to have your shoes and socks removed. Wow.. you feel so naked without your shoes and socks.

I just had a long hot shower and a nice big dinner. These simple pleasures in life can feel so good, especially after what I just did.

Meh... time to study.

Wednesday, April 6, 2005
07:52 p.m.

A common graph, but a very bad one! Haha. y = x - 1. The more x I give the less y I get, regardless of the value of x. Teacher, can I have a new sheet of graph paper please? I want to draw a different graph. I want a y = x + 1 graph.

Monday, April 4, 2005
09:11 p.m.

If I don't know where I came from

Will I know where I'm heading?

If I don't know the value of what I already have

Will I treasure what I'm getting?

And when I get to where I'm going

Will I even know that I'm there?

If I ever reach the destination

Will I be able to pay the fare?

Sunday, April 3, 2005
09:59 p.m.

A good day (sort of)

Today was a fun day but in some ways it was anticlimatic. Lols I beat Pokvin in punch after losing to him twice. I've regained my honour! Muahah. Then after I came back from skating I beat Dom (wow! really rare) but I lost to Daniel (for the second time, can't stand it). So it's rather anticlimatic. If I beat Daniel I'd have regained my honour (and money)! Damnation. Why do I persist to fool around when I know that he has improved already? Humz. Gotta wake up. But all in all I paid 5 bucks for 16 games of pool and tts pretty good. If I beat Daniel tt'd be 16 games of pool of free. Arghzzz.

Skating was fun! But also anticlimatic. I wanted to hold you longer, till the sun set totally and the red-tinted sky darkened into a deep blue. It'd have felt much better. But nvm there'll be more chances next time, when there aren't any time constraints =) And we got busted. Again. I hope nothing bad happens.

Friday, April 1, 2005
10:28 p.m.

A good Good Friday

Today was rather fun. I went to eat at Suki Sushi with my family. I went downstairs halfway while eating to see some loveliness. I realise this is the first time I've seen some loveliness on 2 consecutive days outside of school! Or is my memory bad? After my lunch I went to play pool with the guys.. wah daniel and kimkeat beat me in punch hard. Shouldn't have fooled around. Shall not give chance next time. Beat gongkia and lard tho. So its quite equal.

After pooling gongkia and lard and I went to the esplanade to watch Ronin perform. They're pretty good... Levan has stage flair. He was doing skyhumps and making love with the air on the stage like a mad gay. And he kept rolling around on the ground and screaming. His scream is really strong and good. His image is damn unique... natural blond hair and fair skin and blue eyes cos of his albino-hood, yet he has oriental facial features. But he isn't a fantastic singer, just a moderately good one I suppose. The lead guitarist is really pro, comparable to the U-Blues guitarist I'd say. Hmm the only bands which I've enjoyed watching live are the U-Blues, Electrico, Ronin and Crossbred. I really wouldn't mind an RHCP or Incubus or G3 concert. Goodass stuff. I also wouldn't mind a Jay Chou concert with some loveliness.

Wah during the Ronin set, this old uncle suddenly came up to the steps and started dancing like one fag. He's quite good but his dance moves are the old-fashioned type and he looked really funny and gay. Lots of ppl were laughing. Really added flair and entertainment to the gig. I like the way he shakes his ass and his hand movements scream "NUM NUM NUM NUM touch my bodeyyh".

Friday, March 25, 2005
11:45 p.m.

Sportz Day

The track meet was pretty fun today. 1 gold and 1 silver out of the 3 events I took part in. Sad 100m la. Can't maintain my top speed for nutz. But I don't train 100m anyway so wtf. It was a nice surprise for us, getting 2nd in the relay. We were all injured and we had hardly trained our passing and sprinting... the entire team was made up of jumpers. One of the funniest moments of the day was when I chionged up to receive my trophy for high jump when Daniel was about to step up onto the podium, cos he was helping me to receive the trophy but I managed to get there in time. Lol. My number tag was 2403 and tt happens to be today's date! It'd be nice to get 2506 too =) I'm red and burnt now.

We took such a long time to find the present! Haha I somehow feel it was a good decision to stick to what she originally wanted to buy. Somehow feels so much better.

I love my sweet and sticky.

Thursday, March 24, 2005
08:21 p.m.

I realise that I'm only able to appreciate the lyrics of 3 artistes to a great extent, namely Incubus, John Mayer and Jay Chou. Such nice lyrics. A couple of songs from other artistes engage me on a high level as well but its mainly these 3 artistes. I wish I could express myself in Chinese the way I can in English. Feels so lacking! Same goes for Korean but I'm not that in touch with my Korean side, though, thanks to my mum, I'm still in touch with Korean food. I need more bul go gi and saba. I ate like a vegetarian today. Tt's really very sad. I need my 70 kg back again!

Gonna get ridiculed tmr in 100 m and 4 x 100. =( But if things go well I shall grab a gold in high jump. My back is injured tho. =(( Hope it'll be ok tmr.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005
08:54 p.m.

Weird encounter..

Just now on the bus, on the way home from track training, hanloong and I had a really weird encounter. This mad guy went to sit behind us and he's really raving mad. He randomly mutters hokkien/malay/wtf? at no one in particular at a really high speed and he keeps going blahblahmehblahmeh DIE! YOU WANNA DIE? or sometimes it'll be mehblahmehblahblahmeh MATI AH? What a whorebag! He was screaming right behind us and flailing his hands around and he kept pounding our seat. Then, I turned around to look at him and he said loudly, "What you looking at? YOU WANNA DIE?" Total whorebag! I felt like taking my spike shoes out to pound his face. We were quite scared at first because he could have suddenly attacked us from behind. I imagined him wrapping his thick hands around my throat and yelling YOU WANNA DIE? YOU WANNA DIE? in his gayass way. Gradually we became quite pissed at the din and Hanloong and I were passing messages back and forth using his hp to talk about the gayass lest speaking out loud would offend his royal madness. What the hell is a madman like him doing on a bus anyway? Shouldn't he be in a mental institution? Many people in the bus were staring at him hard. Could this be some kind of candid camera trick? Total mad guy who keeps making death threats.

I can clear 170 but I can't seem to go any higher, though I could do 175 regularly a few weeks ago. Don't know why at all. And I don't have anyone to coach me in high jump. Maybe I won't join the nationals, since training without someone to point out my mistakes and correct me is really fat and bad.

Shu Yuen said something pretty nasty to me in class today. Shall not take it to heart.

Oh! Mr Ng's replacement teacher came in today for A Math. He's really flairy in a full of shit way. He kept side tracking from the lesson and he makes all kinds of totally gay comments. He said, haw... in english... we only have one two three four five and six but for the ancient latin gays they had uno duo trio quattuor quinque and sex... so you can tell they had much more fun. And he said it in a totally retarded way. Coincidentally, his name is Kenneth Ong! That's right, tt's lard's name too. He was writing some kind of hieroglyphics that were supposed to have a meaning and only Karmen saw it. Wtf? I totally couldn't see anything. Haha I'm slow.

Damnation. I feel so ignored.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005
08:49 p.m.

Wish You Were Here

I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless
And in this moment I am happy. Happy =)

I wish you were here.

I lay my head onto the sand
The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it
I'm counting UFOs. I signal them with my lighter.
And in this moment I am happy.

I wish you were here.

The world's a rollercoaster and I'm not trapped in it
Maybe I should hold with care but my hands are in the air
I wish you were here... I wish you were

I wish you were here!

Monday, March 21, 2005
10:21 p.m.

Incubus - A Certain Shade of Green
A certain shade of green,
tell me, is that what you need?
All signs around say move ahead.
Could someone please explain to me
your ever present lack of speed?
Are your muscles bound by ropes?
Or do crutches cloud your day?
My sources say the road is clear,
and street signs point the way.
Are you gonna stand around 'till 2012 A.D.?
What are you waiting for,
A certain shade of green?
I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate.
What are you waiting for,
A certain shade of green?
Would a written invitation
signed, "CHOOSE NOW OR LOSE IT ALL,"
sedate your hesitation?
Or inflame and make you stall?
You've been raised in limitation,
but that glove never fit quite right.
The time has passed for hand-me-downs,
choose a new, please evolve,
take flight.
Are you gonna stand around till 2012 A.D.?
What are you waiting for,
A certain shade of green?
I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate.
Green? What are you waiting for?
I said, what are you waiting for?!?!
A written invitation?
A public declaration?
A perfect constellation?
Remember when you procrastinate you choose last
I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate.
Are you gonna stand around till 2012 A.D.?
What are you waiting for,
A certain shade of green?

Saturday, March 19, 2005
10:44 p.m.

Slaved so much but I've nothing to show
Nothing to reap, but wasn't there a lot to sow?
You show the signs
Now say the word!
I'll set myself free. Happily.

Saturday, March 19, 2005
10:27 p.m.

Could it be?

Could nehji be right? Hmm.

Either way, I think its high time for me to cast off my oars and just drift down the river. I'll let it take me wherever it wants to take me. So if it doesn't take me somewhere good it shall have to blame itself. I think I've done my part in rowing. Time to lie back and listen to songs like Wish You Were Here and just relax. I'll move the tiller from time to time if I have to but I'll mostly be chilling.

Speaking of Wish You Were Here, jamming was ok today. We need to jam more to get our songs down. The "freestyle" that we had in our previous jamming session turned out quite gay. I think I was the only one truly freestyling, cos Gongkia already had his scales prepared and James was mostly just keeping beat. Lard was playing barre chords that he knew already and I was a lost bastard struggling to fit Gongkia's key.

Eruption. play. can. I. ? nah not yet

A series of disappointments. Humz. Life.

With His strength. =)

Friday, March 18, 2005
11:06 p.m.

Coincidence, then fun

Today on the bus, on the way to orchard, I met this ex-dunmanian. He's 40 plus, approaching 50 I surmise, and he just suddenly started talking to me on the bus. Haha he suddenly took out some photos of himself in his youth and started showing them to me. From the way he talks and behaves, he seems a wee bit odd but I shall give him the benefit of the doubt. My shirt started the conversation for me cos it says "stupid =>" and the arrow happened to be pointing at him and he made a bland joke about it. We were talking about random stuff then suddenly he talked about a commando officer and suddenly he said something about Dunman High scouts. He was saying that the scouts back then were much better than the scouts now and that he has been to the school to talk to Mr Kiw and Mr Sun about this. He was Mr Kiw's student and he admires Mr Kiw, but unlike many blind Kiw-adorers, he sees the flipside of Mr Kiw and acknowledges the fact that some of Mr Kiw's methods are too rigid. This is what I'm talking about: an understanding of what he advocates and his methodology. To pluck wisdom from the mouths of ancient Chinese sages and to shape them into the context of modern society is something and I don't mind being exposed to this wisdom but nevertheless, it is not a great feat. To command the respect of mavericks and to instill in them teachings that can survive more than the 4 years that they spend under your control is an awesome feat that takes a great leader to achieve. But look at our JC1 students. A majority of them hardly qualify for Mr Kiw's standards for the image of a "good student". The moment the air is free of Mr Kiw, their image totally changes. In fact , I'm aware of Kiw-adorers who sing his praises to me and they take care to fit into his standards when he's around. But once he isn't around, these wise ideals magically fade and suddenly, they lose this facade that they maintain to please him. There was this one time, a group of us guys were kicking a ball in the canteen. Mr Kiw cunningly came from behind the canteen stalls to catch us. At that opportune moment, the ball was with me so I took the brunt of all his bullshit. All the cool guys totally ran off. To some of you, he's your fuckin idol, why are you running and leaving me to take the blame for something you played a part in? I think only Eepin and one other guy bothered to linger around. After he confiscated the ball and ridiculed me, I walked away feeling quite pissed, not at Mr Kiw, but at the speed of which I was abandoned. In fact, if I recall correctly, he himself correctly observed that my friends had left me to fend for myself, so, props to him for that.

(To those of you who still don't know what my stand on Mr kiw is even though I've blogged quite a bit about him already, I'm against some of his selectively pro/anti-culture ideals which he imposes upon us and I'm against the fact that he has picked on me so many times. If you can stand losing a Colours award because of an untucked shirt, spend days picking litter just so that he can show the school population that the compound is dirty enough to fill up a couple of plastic bags with litter (also because of the same untucked shirt), and various other indignities, then you are qualified to say that I have not been picked on. Otherwise, let silence reign. =)

Anyway, about the guy I met on the bus, till today, he maintains correspondence with Mr Kiw. He also claims that he's a PSC Scholar and that now he's a a mechanical engineer. If all this is true, I'm quite impressed. But intelligent as he is, he lacks wit. I have this impression that most engineers are lacking in social skills because their profession gives them very few opportunities to develop them. Then again, I'm not in a position to give a qualified opinion. I just hope I can get a satisfying career next time.

Hitch is quite a funny movie. Once again, full of sexual references. I couldn't help but smile when Eva Mendes said "But he does it with flair." when she was talking about Will Smith's character in the movie. Flair indeed. Flair makes life much more fun. And for my case I've only managed to achieve a "state of flair" with the usual guys I hang out with. Anyway Eva Mendes is damn chio.

What a day. Started out with that coincidence. Dunmanian from the previous generation meets a Dunmanian from the current generation, and the former is referred to as stupid by the latter's shirt. And today is sort of a dawnlight day for me! Because I did something for the first time in my life which I shall not specify, except that it made me happy. A day that contains a coincidence and your first time in something is clearly a significant day. In a way, today is the 2nd time as well. Haha I think I'm confusing everyone.

I love pie.

Sunday, March 13, 2005
10:22 p.m.

If you're green, then let us go
If you're amber, let us take it slow
If you'red, I have nothing to say
Except good bye, I'll be on my way.

I guess I was upset,
Because I saw no shades of green at all
It just felt so one-sided,
What was soaring could only start to fall

After our intimate deliberations
I see the pain this has brought you
Now that I've attained mental definition
I realise that you love me too

Love is patient, love is kind
To such faults, love pays no mind
I'll wait for the wintry ice to thaw
And celebrate spring with you

Saturday, March 12, 2005
06:51 p.m.

Another dream

I dreamnt last night and managed to recall my dream just now. Does it have any meaning to me in light of what transpired before I went to sleep yesterday?

I was in a building full of snakes. It somehow gave me the impression that it was a shop. I was on a very stupid task that has no significance to me right now. I was holding 4 or 5 small snakes and I was supposed to go to a room to exchange these small snakes for big snakes. Inside the room, there were concentrated groups of snakes all over the floor. I was supposed to avoid stepping on them but I kept failing, so I kept stepping on these snakes... kept getting bitten. In the end I was successful so I got my big snakes and got out of the room. After this I can't really recall anything else.

What a dream. Snakes are symbolic of a lot of things. I shall cut and paste from http://dreemmoods.com/cgi-bin/searchcsv.pl?search=snake&method=exact&header=symbol

To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. The snake may also be seen as phallic and thus symbolize dangerous and forbidden sexuality. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless, and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive changes.

I don't know if I believe all that.

Hmm. Why do I feel this way? I gotta slowly analyse myself. Can heart and mind work in tandem?

Saturday, March 12, 2005
10:45 a.m.

Symbols and images express aptly what simple, mundane words fail to express. Feelings can both be strengthened and preserved through the use of appropriate imagery.

Friday, March 11, 2005
09:28 p.m.

Rough patch! Time to be strong.

I thought to myself, hmm I should keep track of my good days and bad days of the month in a calender. Tick the good days and keep the bad days unticked. Think I'll have damn few ticks, esp for this dumb month.

Go away. I don't deserve to have you. Get out.

So much pain. And for no known cause. Damn gay.

A good bite of cherrypie will make my problems seem less bad. But the problem is getting the bite in the first place. So how?

At least there's one constant in my life that never fades!

Tuesday, March 8, 2005
09:16 p.m.

A drop a day...

Beats a deluge in a second.

Praise Him for everything. Even unanswered, they can be a blessing.

I see Ephesus in me, so I must correct myself.

I am the moth
And you are the flame
Engulf me with warmth
But please don't burn me down
And turn me into cold ashes
Where did it go? Oh where did it go?

I must learn how to not press the button, to leave it alone. The button kills.

For some reason I was really tired today in school.

Have I ever posted the lyrics of 11 am on my blog? Humz. The first stanza is so poignant and sad...

7 a.m.
The garbage truck beeps as it backs up
And I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away
I push rewind
The credits traverse, signifiying the end
But I missed the best part
Could we please go back to start?

I don't ever wanna feel like this. But I don't mind writing like this.. haha.

I think pie and I look really good in the pics. I wanna take more.

Hide and Seek is ok... I spotted sexual references in the dialogue. At the beginning of the show David's wife told him "There are some things that therapy can't cure." and later on it is revealed that his wife was having an affair. Later on in the show Emily taunts him about Charlie being able to satisfy her mum. So at first I thought she was referring to psychotherapy but it turns out to be sex therapy instead. Dammit I took so long to see that.

Where's my direction in life now? Hmm.

Wednesday, March 2, 2005
08:49 p.m.

Why is it so easy for others to get their As. 2004 is really a cursed year. So unfruitful and unrewarding. When your effort does not pay, you can't help but feel gay. I don't think I deserve that. I studied so damn much. 4 - 6 hours a day for a whole week is clearly enough. Is my Chinese that bad? Am I that incapable? Wtf. What if I study this much for my other subjects and I get the same sad results. I'll barely be able to get into a jc. I can fuck off and wank myself.

I rmb where I was in that week. Dom's mother was teaching me a lil. She's a Chinese teacher in VJC. I can't even do a shit with help and self-study combined. And I was emotionally disturbed only for the first couple o days. Can't be. Totally can't be.

He didn't seem to care much. Fortunately. Don't know what she'll say. I did better for my Higher Chinese paper last year than this damn O lvl paper. Why can't I do better when it matters? And I won't even get the paper back. I can't see what went wrong. Damn frustrating.

It's damn demoralising to get nothing for your efforts. Fuck Chinese.

Monday, February 28, 2005
06:58 p.m.

Freezing off

My high has worn off. Feels really bad when it wears off.

I rmb some time back, I wrote some nonsense in my notebook. It goes something like this.

So much for wisdom
I'm still a fool in the end
What will happen to me,
As I float down the river bend?
Will I hang on, or will I let go
Or am I destined to drift alone forever? Then fat Allison started staring at me write so I couldn't think properly and gave up. Fat Allison...

It's so cold. I feel so old. It's so mechanical and lifeless. There's only one constant, and that's enough, but it still leaves me wondering. I'll never find enough fire to thaw my frozen body. My frozen mind. My frozen heart. I can feel warm, but I never will be.

[The ride's over. Did you enjoy yourself?] Will I ever be forced to feel like this someday? Tt'd be so unpleasant, and a good lesson learnt. Incoherence. Confuse my readers.

Friday, February 25, 2005
10:07 p.m.

I feel the Flair!

For some reason, at this very moment, I'm damn damn high and happy and unhibited and flairy and gay. I just feel good. I FEEL GOOD. For an unknown reason. I just ran to the fridge to grab a can of beer cos i just suddenly felt like celebrating sudden highness with a good cold beer. Beer is good. Damn good. I usually hate beer but right now its damn good. YEAH I WANNA BE HIGH MORE OFTEN. Yeah. I need a joint now. Someone gimme a joint. Yes I need a joint. I wanna be frisky. I wanna get Hilikus! Damn I need some goodass music now. Yes. Hilikus shall be it. My maid just brought apples in. They say if its really cold and you drink alcoholic beverages you feel really good. I just turned on my aircon flap and brought it down to 16 degrees. I wanna feel better than good. My mum just entered the room and she didn't see my beer! HAHA! Either that or she saw it and she doesn't mind me drinking it. I rmb drinking beer last year at Mr Siva's wedding and I became fuckin red. Just from 1 cup! I'm so healthy. My sister's birthday is coming in 3 days time. What should I get her? I love my chubby noisy lil sister. I love my chubby quiet lil fruit. She should be crazier tho. I love feeling good. It feels good to feel good. What a gay blog entry. Yes, how gay indeed. I was too humji to do a backflip on the highjump mat today. WHY? WHY AM I SO HUMJEEE!?!?1 HUMJEE!!!! Damn. Who cares. Its just to look cool and to challenge myself. But still I shouldn't be so humz! I'm as humz as cumz on sugar plumz dipped in rumz. Yes! This is it! It's how a himbo talks! Hee Hee. I think I know why i'm so happy now. Must be the work of endorphinz! Endorphinz are goodz! I need more dopamine. I need all the good neurotransmitters.

I'm crazy for you but you're not crazy for me! That makes me as sad as can be. So sad that i'll grow cold.

Friday, February 25, 2005
08:08 p.m.

HaHa

This unknown person added me on msn recently.. and s/he is quite a flairy ass. I shall paste excerpts of the convo. Apparently, s/he is a sec 3 prc.

[�@M�3L] Its times like these when you blast dragostea din tei and smile says:
ure a girl?
3[E]xtreme [E]yesore [E]thanol 轻轻的，我闪了，不带走一片云彩[Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu] says:
not necessary

Hmm! Not necessary indeed.

3[E]xtreme [E]yesore [E]thanol 轻轻的，我闪了，不带走一片云彩[Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu] says:
so you going to befriend me or ignore me?
[�@M�3L] Its times like these when you blast dragostea din tei and smile says:
im going to grab ur balls

3[E]xtreme [E]yesore [E]thanol 轻轻的，我闪了，不带走一片云彩 says:
let's ask some guy qns
3[E]xtreme [E]yesore [E]thanol 轻轻的，我闪了，不带走一片云彩 says:
you got girlfriend
3[E]xtreme [E]yesore [E]thanol 轻轻的，我闪了，不带走一片云彩 says:
?

Haw! Seems to me a girl would be more interested in asking that rather than a guy.

This person thinks I'm gay as well... 2nd time an unknown person has added me on msn to question my sexuality. Humz! haha

Haha the flair of it all.

c.t.w.l, i.l.y.

Sunday, February 20, 2005
10:33 p.m.

WOO HOO I LOVE MY FRUITZ

Sunday, February 20, 2005
02:03 a.m.

Amazingly funny! (Only if you get it)

march 19th, 1-7pm, 5 mins walk from plaza sing. sg vs malaysia hiphop, contact me for tix says:
do you who andrew chow is
[LeTX] consistency [12] says: from zouk?
march 19th, 1-7pm, 5 mins walk from plaza sing. sg vs malaysia hiphop, contact me for tix says:
wah yea
march 19th, 1-7pm, 5 mins walk from plaza sing. sg vs malaysia hiphop, contact me for tix says:
hes gonna be there
march 19th, 1-7pm, 5 mins walk from plaza sing. sg vs malaysia hiphop, contact me for tix says:
battling too
[LeTX] consistency [12] says: i see..
[LeTX] consistency [12] says: haha
[LeTX] consistency [12] says: i think its more like a show then a battle
[LeTX] consistency [12] says: dunt believe they will build up the anger
[LeTX] consistency [12] says: anw what do they have to be angry bout?
[LeTX] consistency [12] says: chicken rice vs mee goreng?

For your info, battling is just a friendly interplay of skillz between 2 artistes of the same trade.

Saturday, February 19, 2005
12:03 a.m.

Damn amused

I just went around reading ppls blogs and I read a friend's entry about a story by Mr Kiw. Highly amusing! Hahahaha. Click on the link "Nehji" below and scroll down all the way... the story is somewhere there. Please read the story first before you read this blog entry or you'll feel damn smart, thinking I'm calling Mr Kiw a stupid man for nothing. And these words just make up a senseless, angry rant at no one in particular.

Firstly, don't you feel that a stupid man should carry himself with the humility of a stupid man? Shouldn't a stupid man try to smarten up, especially since he's setting an example for 1500 ppl to follow, instead of going around breaking people's walls and running away, whining that they misunderstood his stupid actions? And Mr Kiw claims to be like this stupid man, but in reality is he a "stupid man" or a "clever man"? Ask yourself well.

Going by Mr Kiw's reasoning, wearing leather/slightly coloured shoes makes you a "bad student". I've gone thru the same talks by him... about marketting yourself and first impressions and that bullshit. Firstly he doesn't have a very good image and he isn't very successful so I wouldn't take his word for it. Secondly, why is it that students from top schools such as RI, NYGH, TCHS and RGS epitomise the kind of student that Mr Kiw abhors, that he deems a possible failure in life because of poor shelf-marketting? They wear their pants low, their pinafores high, they sport "unacceptable hairstyles", they wear ankle socks, they wear "unacceptable shoes", so what's the deal now? They are poorly-marketted products? They ain't gonna make it in life because people's first impression of them is going to be really bad? Oops, they RAPE US IN STUDIES AND CCAs. So much for wise analogies and kinky stories about breaking walls. Mr Kiw's words are so cheap. They are proven wrong by these living, breathing kids in these top schools who continually rape us in many aspects of academic life, schools which produce ministers in the tens while we only produced only one. Damn cute man...damn cute.

Today I saw Aiksiong playing with his shirt untucked. Going by Mr Kiw's wise definitions, Aiksiong is a bad student! If the situation was right, he'd be picking litter for hours in and around the school and his conduct grade will be downgraded. If he had a CCA Colours Award, he'd have lost it, something that happened to me (grrr). But all you ppl who know him, you damn well know what kind of person Aiksiong is. He's quite certainly gonna make it. So once again, Mr Kiw's smartass words of wisdom have been disproved by a living, breathing person that we all know. Oh, Aiksiongs sleeves extend below his shoulder too; tt makes u look damn sloppy according to Mr Sage.

The criminal behind bars hates the law more than the criminal who got away from the law enforcers. If you experience what I experienced, what's to say you won't be even more dissatisfied than me? Only if you've lost as much as me, will you be qualified to talk about this bastard and his propensity to waste my time. I may be naive but I'm not that blind. I will not hate him without a reason. So many people did the same thing as me, but I lose CCA Colours Award while they lose 20 mins of their time? I have to write 2 letters and see him for 3 days while they just have to change their shoes and socks and hair and blah blah blah and show him? Haha in reality I've gotten over it actually, I mean, what's done is done and I wouldn't wanna wish unhappiness upon a fellow schoolmate. But I just can't stand it when people start thinking he's a good man just because he talks some crap that can be disproved by real life examples. Yeah, he's a good man, he doesn't lose his temper like other teachers etc etc but he's a really fucked up man as well, with a propensity to waste my time like fuck, when its your time he could have wasted instead of mine. One day, perhaps, one of you will be picked on by a superior and you'll go "argh" and "grr" like what I'm doing now. Hope this entry will make you realise why I like to make noise about the Kiw! Haha he really infuriates me, along with his lackeys like Mrs Shu Yuen, and the only way I can sort of, "regain my honour" is by the dissemination of my views.

Friday, February 18, 2005
11:00 p.m.

If coins never existed, and they're invented tmr, we'll look at both sides of the coin before we use it. Now a days, we are so conditioned to using coins, we only look at one side of the coin, our brains analyse the stimuli, interprets it as a coin instantly along with its value, we use it, end of the story. Some of you might see what I truly mean.

Friday, February 18, 2005
10:17 p.m.

Commonwealth Essay

"Slow down! We're going too fast!"

My band has a problem with the song Drive, by Incubus, which we have been playing recently. One of us always increases the tempo of the song, such that in the end, instead of a relaxing, clean rock song, we get a perverse techno rendition that sounds quite awful. It is difficult for one member of the group to decrease the tempo by himself and it is much easier for him to just follow along with the others, revelling in the mistake. This illustrates how some of us live our lives. If you slow down, you are the "unproductive one". You'll never get ahead of your peers and you'll never command the respect of the people you mingle with. Although going so fast is a mistake, many of us are forced to swim along in the flow or risk being drowned. The toxic dump that the river empties into isn't pretty, but most of us enjoy the exhilarating swim towards this ugly destination, saying "Ah well, that's how life goes". We smirk at the slower trout that couldn't make it as quickly as we could but as the saying goes, only dead fish go with the flow.

Indeed, in life many of us are going too fast and not realising it. Technological advancement, medical breakthroughs, triumph for human-rights here, success for democracy there, clearly, the speed at which our sphere is moving is way too fast for our own good. If viewed from high above, our well-abused but pretty ball of blue green and white presents a serene image of an ice-skater, sliding relaxedly round and round the rink which we call space, coming back to its original position after 365 days, 365.25 for leap years if you will. However, upon closer inspection, the beings which populate this docile ball of cotton-candy are actually moving at a frighteningly fast pace, and to what end one may ask? Indeed one can ask this question to anyone possible, but the wisest reply would sound something like the words of Levin from the novel Anna Karenina, "But I know nothing, nothing! And can know nothing but what is told me and to everybody."

So why do we toil, why do we try to accelerate ourselves even though we know our endeavours are pointless? Sprinting faster towards the skeletal figure of Death does not make his grin any warmer, neither will it make him award you extra marks for "effort". "Into the grave you go anyway!" says Death. "No! My ducats! My daughter! My ducats!" says the silly old man who accumulated wealth for himself in his youth, only to spend it in his golden years on arthritis medication and "Livestrong" bands in support of cancer foundations, after losing his testicles to very cheeky yet malignant cells. Since our toil means nothing, shouldn't every man find a purpose for his efforts before he embarks on the long climb up the ladder of life? Shouldn't he ask himself, "If I reach the top of the ladder, will I find a dead end and be forced to climb back down, or will I find a backdoor to the Greatest Bachelor Party Just Outside Heaven, or will I simply find a packet of Yupi Gummy Bears to chew on as I ponder on why I lived my life the way I did?" To work with no real purpose in the soul, yet to go far in terms of material gain, is a deadly trap that I fear I might fall into. The only remedy is to slow down and contemplate my lot in life.

How am I to slow down then? Should I lock myself in my room, fill my head with gloomy thoughts of doom, exclaim the words of Solomon, "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!" and just lie down and die? Should I just follow the straight and narrow path and perish "as any decent man should", or should I just wait till the year 2012, the year in which the Mayan calendar ends, also the year in which scientists predict a change in the electromagnetice influence on Earth will occur?

Frankly speaking, a hot cup of tea and a friendly chat with my amiable chum and career management advisor, Kay-Ass-Double-U, would drastically slow things down for me. Listening to his sweeping speeches about his anti-anti-Sino beliefs and his well thought-out arguments that the waist of the human anatomy lies above the umbilical cord, I'd fall behind schedule, miss E-Math lessons or spend the next 2 hours of my life picking rubbish in and around the school compound. Would spending my time interacting with such a great sage help me to "slow down" and to find the answers that I seek? Well, not really. Instead of resisting the flow of the river, it's more like being fished out by a senile old man who goes down the river bank for a few metres and deposits me back into the water, leaving me a very annoyed trout indeed.

There are no answers to my lucid vapour, but I hope I have succeeded in slowing you down for the past few minutes and in making you realise that forcing me to write an essay of such a nature in 2 days is asking me to go too fast indeed.

Thursday, February 3, 2005
07:53 p.m.

hmm...

Whoa! What an aggressive tone from Daniel! Don't worry dan i'm not offended by this matter but if you are..well..sorry I guess.

Seems to me you were unable to grasp what I meant! Lol perhaps I should simplify things so that I won't be misunderstood. Mr Kiw enforces rules and I can accept that. What? I just stepped out of the classroom and my shirt is untucked and you want me to tuck it in? Sure thing! But what I can't accept is the fact that he creates new rules contrary to what other teachers tell me are the rules. Perhaps you didn't understand that bit. Let me illustrate.

Mr Ang: "Its ok to have your shirt untucked when you play ball" (I heard this from 4K guys)
Mr Chew : "If your shirt comes out while you're playing and its because your shirt is short or something.. we will understand one..." (this I heard with my own ears, and my short is way too short for me)
Mr Siva: situation 1: *sees people playing in uniform and confiscates the ball, guys argue, but in the end they know that they're in the wrong. they get the ball back from him later on.* situation 2 : *Mr Siva walks pass a group of students playing in PE, but with their shirts untucked. He doesn't give a shit and walks to the hostel.*
By now you'd be thinking that it is ok to play in your pe shirt with it untucked right? But along comes...
Mr Kiw: "Your shirt is untucked! Give me the ball, write a letter to get your ball back. You look like a garbage collector!"

Is that sufficient to show you what I meant?

Respect and pity don't go together.

Anyway today my father imparted something to me in the way of life and business. Thinking that you're smart beats thinking that your competitor is stupid. The trick in competition is to show people that you're weak in a time that doesn't matter and beat them in the times that matter.

I just took a look at the lyrics for Under My Umbrella. Damn its actually about the media/entertainment industry and its effect on people. To think I actually previously thought it was an angry rant at a girl. Whenever I take a look at a song from Incubus I feel like I'm doing an unseen poem mentally for lit. The right songs la that is.

Friday, January 21, 2005
11:25 p.m.

I actually blogged an entry before this one but I deleted it cos it was such a bad entry... I asked myself... "why the hell am I writing this? Are these my true thoughts? Is my blog a reflection of what goes on in my mind or just a shallow medium of communication? Or a mundane recollection of what happened in my week?" and I realised that the entry was damn sad. I compare my entries from sec 2 and early sec 3 to my entries from late sec 3 to right now and I'm able to see that I've matured a bit. So I shall re-blog because right now I feel like blogging..have quite a lot of stuff on my mind. It's all about the feeling.

I just read Daniel's blog.. and I realise I have a couple of words to say! Haha I tagged his board quite a number of times already but I shall just blog anyway. Anyway my words are not a direct reply to his entry but they're just what I think about Mr Kiw generally.

Apparently, many people have been won over by Mr Kiw, soley by his powers of speech. In the 4 walls of the classroom, facing him, listening to his awe-inspiring speech on morals and lessons on life, people from the classes which he teaches i.e. 4F, 4K are now filled with respect for this man, which I have a clear lack of respect for. We are only at the end of the third week of school and I think it is safe for me to say that, although I'm not being taught by him, I have heard more from his mouth than many students who are being taught by him this year have in their 4 years in DHS, mainly because he enjoys seeing me for various reasons. To start my argument, I'd like to use my favourite phrase, "talk is cheap". If a man can evoke such strong feelings in you, purely out of his speech, FUCK, he must a great guy! I mean, even Jesus had to do some miracles to show his power (and this shows you that Jesus also agrees that talk is cheap). I'd really love to sit through a lesson with Mr Kiw if he's truly so inspiring. Luckily, or unluckily, for me, I've heard quite a lot from him already, quite enough to be convinced that his character isn't one that I will model my own after.

Let me put forth an example. If a man can be so cocky, such that he boasts to you "if you can find me a single Rafflesian who walks out of the school with his shirt untucked... I will kowtow to you and call you my father", what do you have to say about him, honestly speaking? Well, sadly for Mr kiw, he has to kowtow to me. On the very day that Mr kiw made this boast to a group of us guys, Gongkia saw a group of Rafflesians with their shirts untucked. What irony! Mr Kiw makes a boast, a few hours pass, and he has to call me his father! Now, to take a more sober view of things, would you expect such words to be uttered from the mouth of a DM of a "prestigious school" ? I think not, right?

There are countless other incidents which I can write about right now, for e.g. Mr Kiw insists that PVC is leather. How is it that a man with such an important post within the school can be so ignorant, yet so hard-headed? If you tell an EM3 student that he has erred and he corrects himself willingly, tt's a good thing right? If you tell an EM1 student that he has erred, but he refuses to change, tt is a bad thing right? If you see beyond the veneer, this is what constitutes Mr Kiw and his beliefs! Spare some time and think about what he likes to say to us and perhaps you might see my point. Basically, Mr Kiw is like the EM1 student, and he wants to turn us into these EM1 students. If you were awake during flag raising last week, perhaps you can recall that he talked about marketing us as products. We have to have a proper image so that we can sell ourselves for the highest price possible. He spoke to me about a cashier in Shop n Save and a cashier in Cold Storage. He claims that a product on a Shop n Save shelf can be the same as a product on a Cold Storage shelf, yet the CS product will cost more, because CS has a better image, with better-dressed cashiers. Are you convinced by such an analogy? By now, it is obvious that Mr Kiw wants to make sure that we are of the highest class, the EM1 stream, the Cold Storage product, and I agree that its good for us, but look at what he shows himself to be. To stare at a PVC shoe and to insist that its leather.... yeah you can be of the highest class but if your mind is so narrow and your heart so stubborn... whats the use? This is one failing of Mr kiw which he tries to project as a move for our good.

I don't know if you people understand what I'm saying because I think my previous point wasn't very well articulated and some people will be going "huh? wtf?" and there are many other examples for me to elaborate. But I shall just end with this: if you come to a conclusion that Mr Kiw is a great man just after 3 weeks of lessons with him....hmm.... Well, today Lard also told me that he changed his opinion of Kiw, because he realised that Kiw's words of wisdom make sense. Then I asked him to recount some of these words, and he couldn't remember a thing. This shows you the kind of effect Mr Kiw has on some people. This kind of respect doesn't last. Similarly, the kind of discipline that Mr Kiw enforces will not last. Discipline by fear only works for little children. Once DHS students go into JC, do they give a shit about ankle socks and long fringes and short skirts and baggy pants and leather-shoes-which-look-like-PVC-which-looks-like-leather? Just take a look at our seniors when they come back; the answer will be laid bare before your eyes and you can see for yourself the "long-lasting" effect that discipline by such means will have on us.

Friday, January 21, 2005
12:54 a.m.

My blog has revived

Yeah I know I haven't been blogging for a damn long time. Hmm I shall update with a nice and long entry.

Usually on the last day of the holidays I'll be anticipating the coming day with a mixture of dread and eagerness but for this year I hardly felt anything. I just woke up at 6 and did my morning routine. LOok at what school has done to me. This isn't discipline. This is brain-washing.

Last week I wrote a sad poem and this week I wrote another one. I'm going to use them for songs in the future, so they sound more like lyrics than poemz I guess. Both of them were written very spontaneously and suddenly. I just sat down and decided to write my thoughts out. How very gay of me. Anyway I haven't given them titles but I shall just paste them here.

Walk down the road of life
Grow weary and cold
You can't do what you want
Your soul is as good as sold

Tread the well-worn path
Trail the footprints in the dirt
Study aimlessly in your youth
Filling it with pointless hurt

Get a high-paying job
Laugh inwardly at those you defeated
Be filled with pride and satisfaction
With the mess you've created
By being qualified,
you have disqualified someone.
Secure the harvest for your feast
Defeat your competitor, deprive the beast

Live your spiritless life
Do your impassible work
This is your lot, it was your choice to make
If you feel no happiness, it was your mistake
By then, to change would be too late
The path you chose was the wrong one to take

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I need to disremember you
Keep you out of sight
Out of mind,
Never be reminded of you again!

Do you remember how we were "together"?
You have always been a magical function
One to many, many to one
What rules are there for satisfaction?
There are absolutely none

Can you recall the times we've shared?
The things we did for each other
All the bad weather we've fared?
Sometimes it felt like a carousel
Going only one way in an endless circle
In the end, it seems to me
These memories are destined to be
Meat-spotted bones of a skeleton
Hidden in the closet of hard feelings

When you come around
And flex that foxy grin
The corpse returns to life once again
Tainted memories of happiness and pain

I know you'd rather my blood on your hands
Than our blood on the ground
At that time, your virginal ego and maiden pride
Beat the bundle of joy called "reconciliation"
Then again, one-sided tales are easy to contest
And perhaps I should have made up to you with more zest
But all that is behind me now...
And all I want to do....

Is to usher out the anger
Let the hate go

Can I disremember you?

I think I've failed... the 2nd one isn't supposed to sound angry at all. And the first one is supposed to sound more angry.

Do androids dream of electric sheep? Hmm. That's the title of a book btw. I finally understand A Crow Left of the Murder. The meaning was pretty deep... so hard to grasp it. Totally couldn't think of what it meant when I first heard it. "FROM NOW ON ITS INSTINCTUAL, EVEN STRAIGHT ROADS... MEANDER!!" Anyway I just read that something big is gonna happen in 2012 because of some phenomena in space. I'll be 23 in 2012 so I shall see what happens. Maybe nothing will happen at all. Or maybe something interesting will happen. Anyway the precise date for all this to happen is 21st december. That's the day the Mayan calendar ends, coincidentally. Hmm..

Incubus - Aqueous Transmission
I'm floating down a river
Oars freed from their holes long ago
Lying face up on the floor of my vessel
I marvel at the stars
And feel my heart overflow
Further down the river(x4)
Two weeks without my lover
I'm in this boat alone
Floating down a river named emotion
Will I make it back to shore
Or drift into the unknown

Further down the river (x 4)

I'm building an antenna
Transmissions will be sent when I am through
Maybe we could meet again further down the river
And share what we both discovered...
Then revel in the view

Lol this song is nice... its not poppy or very catchy so most ppl won't like it but its somewhat nice to me. I like the last 3 lines.. about him meeting his ex-lover in the future and sharing their past experiences together, to "revel in the view". And the way he sings it too. Relaxing song. When a rock band picks up Japanese/Chinese instruments, compose a song and start playing, this is what you get.

Could this be a long entry? I hope so. Most ppl will be too bored to be able to read up to this line anyway. So I shall stop blogging and go buy socks.

Wednesday, January 5, 2005
08:27 p.m.

Damn I'm down with fever. Feels very gay. I went for vball training today for the first time in 1 year and got the sad fever. What a sign...hahaha. My juniors must be too hot for me to handle.

My fever had better vanish soon. I wanna go play ballz.

Oh wow sylvester didnt get voted out. Quite a good thing actually... cos I think Olinda isn't that good. She only has one type of voice. Gets a bit sian after awhile. Sylvester had better start singing some rock or he'll fail. Damn I was hoping for him to sing the OST of Rockstar. The vocals for that song are very good.

Sad vball bbq! Even if you don't go for it you have to pay 10 bucks, or so I heard. Humz if I go i'll be very extra, cos nearly no other guys are going.

Wonder if there'll be any track bbq. I haven't been training, cos i've been too busy playing balls. I wonder what coach will say when I get back.

Go away fever..go....

Saturday, November 20, 2004
12:08 a.m.

I feel like a liberated ass. HAW YEAHHHH. I don't feel so bogged down now. I shall party hard tmr at jurong. WAH DA TAHHHH

Friday, November 12, 2004
10:04 p.m.

Put up well

Dom's com is sad... took so long to get it repaired. I'm using it to surf right now.

Wah running from home at this time really sux. Gay O-Level Chinese next Monday. Its quite good though... Dom's mum is a chinese teacher and they say studying at different locations instead of only studying at the same place can improve your recalling ability, and I don't need to put up with the gayness at home too. I feel bad imposing on them though, hmm (unlike some ppl I know who really enjoy imposing on other people). At least I brought some food from home to give them. Makes me less of a gay.

I've been studying quite a lot for gay Chinese. I'd better grab an A1 or I'll feel ridiculed. Studying a lot and not getting what you want = totally ridiculed. And it makes you less willing to study more the next time. Don't ever fall into this trap. It breaks your balls like cabbage in a vise-grip.

I'm going to go for a couple of vball trainings during the hols. Shall definitely go for most of the track trainings. I must be in relatively bad shape now. Hmm should I pluck the cherry or leave it alone? A strong question.

Saturday, October 30, 2004
12:09 a.m.

Haha!

End of exams.. time to let gaseous exchange in my balls occurr, time to let them breathe hard at long last. I totally screwed my a-math paper and wrote nice messages to Mr Jee in my answer script.

Wah, Ladykillers is damn flairy and funny. Made me laugh like a shiny salmon. But the plot is a little stupid. There were quite a number of subtle jokes revolving around the church but very few ppl in the cinema saw thru it and laughed. Most ppl only find the black man shouting FUCK 10 times in one sentence flairy but not the crap from the gay professor.

Restrung my guitar with PRS strings. w00t! haha but the action has increased now.. so much harder to play. I need a delay pedal to let myself get high.

Wah Bob Marley's songs have very good lyrics. Meaningful and sung in a poetic way. My father wanted to talk to me about girls in my life so I just said "No Woman No Cry" and went to sleep. He looked worried after I said that.. hahahaha. No Woman No Cry is actually a song by Bob Marley. A slow old fashioned song. And before you think I mean no woman no cry as in no woman no cry, you should see the lyrics of the song first.

No, woman, no cry. (x4)
'Cause - 'cause - 'cause I remember when a we used to sit
In a government yard in Trenchtown,
Oba - obaserving the 'ypocrites - yeah! -
Mingle with the good people we meet, yeah!
Good friends we have, oh, good friends we have lost
Along the way, yeah!
In this great future, you can't forget your past;
So dry your tears, I seh. Yeah!
No, woman, no cry;

No, woman, no cry. Eh, yeah!
A little darlin', don't shed no tears:
No, woman, no cry. Eh!
Said - said - said I remember when we used to sit
In the government yard in Trenchtown, yeah!
And then Georgie would make the fire lights,
I seh, logwood burnin' through the nights, yeah!
Then we would cook cornmeal porridge, say,
Of which I'll share with you, yeah!
My feet is my only carriage
And so I've got to push on through.
Oh, while I'm gone,
Everything's gonna be all right!

Its basically him singing about poverty under a corrupted government in his town, not about a woman, hahaha.

hussy
Hus"sy, n. [Contr. fr. huswife.] 1. A housewife or housekeeper. [Obs.]
2. A worthless woman or girl; a forward wench; a jade; -- used as a term of contempt or reproach. --Grew.
3. A pert girl; a frolicsome or sportive young woman; -- used jocosely. --Goldsmith.

Haha I checked up the different meanings for the word "slut" in urbandict. many of them are really funny.

1. slut
a woman with the morals of a man
"A man that sleeps with many women is THE man, but a woman that sleeps with many men is THE slut."
7. slut
Just like the town bicycle- everyone gets a ride!
9. slut
A great pick up line for the ladies.
What's up slut??
(Haha! tt's a good one)
15. slut
someone or something who gets used and allows themselves to be
"That soldier is the government's slut."

The way I see it,looks like a slut can have many sluts, if u take definition number 15 into mind you'll know what i mean. =)

Saturday, October 16, 2004
08:56 p.m.

Bloody Exams

I really can't wait for these gay exams to end. The worst is yet to come tho... Hmm for the first time I'm actually studying properly. Studied like a total dick for Chinese... believe I won't have problems passing unless something gay happens. Right now I'm finding E-math and Bio a problem tho.

When the exams end I shall scream hard and play for a few days.. then I gotta study again for Chinese O Levels. My life is so deprived. But before that I shall go restring my gay Interceptor and hunt for a new guitar. And another amp cos I might sell my nice Bad Dog to Lard. Then I shall go rape myself with shredding... aww yeahh...

I'm quite lucky my string broke... makes me play less guitar. Now all I do for recreation is surf and go online. Music is distracting tho.

I had better pass well. Getting an average of 55 will not be the way.

Friday, October 8, 2004
10:57 p.m.

It's a Man's World

I've been jamming a lot and playing a lot of guitar lately...cos Dom got his drums and we discovered that its quite good to jam at his house, cos all the equipment is there, so gongkia lard and I just drag our asses to his house and jam like nehs with Lard as vocalist and rhythm guitarist Gongkia as bassist me as lead guitarist and Dom as drummer. Today gongkia bought his bass and amplifier... swee lee had clearance offer. I bought my new amp at long-fucking-last. Its pretty powerful... and I really like its name. The Bad Dog. Hahahah nice name for an amp. I also bought a distortion pedal and a phaser.. the phaser sounds really cool. It goes waiowoawowaieowwaieoi and messes the sound up really gayly, and incubus songs are full of phasers/delay efx so I can feel good. Too bad I didn't get a delay pedal otherwise I'll feel even better. Right now I lack cables to hook up all my pedals to my amps, so I shall buy a cable and repair the 2 shitted ones that i have. In the words of James Brown, I FEEL GOOD... YEAHHH! I'M REAL! PAPA'S GOT A BRAND NEW BAG IT'S A MAN'S WORLD. Since last week the skin on my index and middle finger of my left hand has been peeling real hard cos I've been playing too much. I can finally play songs with lots of distortion like Have You Ever and Megalomaniac.

Sunday, September 5, 2004
11:49 p.m.

I just found out that what I was experiencing is called sleep paralysis. Something about your mind disjointing from your body and losing control over it. There's a kind of demon called an incubus, the one which my favourite band is named after, that goes around spirit-raping ppl. I read that there are links between incubus attacks and sleep paralysis. The supposed pressure that the person feels on his body is the incubus sitting on him. For my case I felt a weird sensation in my arms but I wouldn't call it pressure. In sleep paralysis the guy will normally feel some kind of presence. His mind just senses it although none of his 5 senses can pick it up. That will explain the sinister laughter that I heard, which was there along with a scary presence. The sensation of your mind disjointed from your body is exciting but scary as well. Maybe I would have been possessed if I didn't fight against it.. hahaha. Then again, there might be scientific explanations behind all this, but science has proven itself wrong quite a lot of times, so nothing is reliable in this world. I think I dreamnt of OBS last night. But I remember very little of the dream. At least it somewhat made sense. I've had dreams which don't make sense at all. I've even dreamnt of pokvin and audrey together before... how on earth does that make sense? I've had a very distinctly lucid dream when I was in primary school. Basically this evil that guy that looked exactly like me was following me around wherever I went. I was walking on a very broad street which I don't rmb ever going to and he kept following me. I was aware of his presence so I kept walking faster and tried to elude him but he eventually caught up and attacked me. Can't rmb what happened beyond that. At least it has some kind of symbolic meaning... maybe it means that if i keep running away from something in my life I will just screw myself in the end. And now that I think about it, I've been avoiding something in my life for quite a long time...

Thursday, August 26, 2004
08:37 p.m.

I've been haunted

I just archived my old entries.. but I can't be bothered to link them cos I don't suppose many ppl wanna read them.

Last night I had a really weird experience... I was lying on my bed, trying to go to sleep. My mind was quite troubled... because some crap happened. Anyway, eventually, I felt myself becoming sleepier and sleepier... and I felt myself drifting into sleep. Firstly this is quite weird already because I don't often feel myself drifting into unconsciousness... I only do so rarely. But during this state of consciousness-to-sleep, I felt something I'd never felt before. I felt a great, intense fear welling up in me. The fear didn't really come from anywhere... it just manifested from nothing. Or maybe I felt the fear because I was paralysed for that moment, or maybe I was paralysed because of the fear, I really dunno. Either way, I couldn't move whilst my mind was in that state. I could feel my mind struggling against it though, but at the same time, panicking from the unexplainable fear. When I stand at the top of a ramp with my skates, the fear is understantable: Fear of screwing myself because I'm a tracker and I can't afford to, fear of heights (everyone has that fear, scientifically proven that it's the only phobia that cannot be removed), fear of ridicule, etc. For this case, the fear was simply too gay to be true. I didn't know what I was fearing (or perhaps the fear came from the fact that I couldn't move my limbs but the reverse could apply as well). Anyway, whilst all this was happening, I could hear laughter in front of me. I thought I was imagining it so I tried to imagine it for me to experience it again but the imagined laughter and the laughter i seemed to hear had a distinct difference. So I just struggled and after awhile, I felt myself fully conscious again. I proceeded to turn over and lie in a different position, at the same time wondering what the hell it was that happened. At this moment, I could hear the sound of sea waves at the back of my head. I'm quite sure I wasn't imagining it because I wasn't able to anticipate when I would hear it. I'd just hear it spontaneously. Oh damn... weirdness. Anyway, I felt myself seized by that fear a couple more times before I prayed and it stopped and I just fell asleep. I woke up feeling not too fresh, probably because I wasn't able to sleep until all the crap stopped happening. I'm waiting to see if it'll happen again tonight. I have a mild sleepophobia right now.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004
07:55 p.m.

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